 Experiencing a loss of hope can feel like being enveloped in darkness, with the light at the end of the tunnel seemingly extinguished. It's a state that can arise from various life challenges, such as personal setbacks, grief, or prolonged stress. As a therapist dedicated to fostering resilience and healing, I understand the profound impact this can have on one's mental and emotional well-being. This post aims to explore the paths to rediscovering hope, even in the darkest of times.
Understanding the Loss of Hope: The loss of hope can manifest in several ways, impacting your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It might feel like a persistent sense of despair, a lack of motivation to engage in daily activities, or a belief that situations will not improve. This state can be triggered by life events such as the loss of a loved one, career disappointments, relationship breakdowns, or ongoing health issues. The Importance of Acknowledging Your Feelings: The first step toward regaining hope is to acknowledge and accept your current emotional state. It's essential to give yourself permission to feel and express your emotions, whether it's sadness, anger, frustration, or fear. Recognizing and validating your feelings is a crucial part of the healing process. Strategies for Rediscovering Hope: Connect with Others:
Therapy can play a vital role in overcoming the loss of hope by:
If you're struggling and seeking support, I am here to help. I am committed to guiding you through this challenging time and helping you reclaim a sense of hope and purpose. Contact me today. Together, we can light the way back to hope.
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 Taking on the role of a caretaker for an ill and/or elderly family member is a profound act of love and devotion. It is a journey that can be as rewarding as it is challenging, often accompanied by a complex mix of emotions ranging from fulfillment to overwhelming stress. I understand the unique challenges that come with this role and am here to offer guidance and strategies to help you navigate this path with resilience and compassion.
The Emotional Impact of Caregiving: Caregiving can significantly affect one's emotional well-being. Many caretakers experience a range of emotions, including:
Self-Care is Paramount:
Therapy can be an invaluable resource for caretakers, providing:
If you're a caretaker in need of support, I am here to help. Contact me today to learn more about receiving the support you need through this journey. Together, we can find a way forward that honors both your well-being and your commitment to your loved one.  Parenting teens can be a complex, yet rewarding journey, especially when navigating the choppy waters of behavioral issues. As a therapist specializing in family counseling, I've witnessed many families transform challenges into opportunities for growth and stronger relationships. This blog post will explore effective strategies to help parents manage and guide their teens through difficult behaviors, promoting a healthier family dynamic.
Understanding Teen Behavioral Issues: Behavioral issues in teens can manifest in various ways, from defiance and mood swings to more serious concerns like substance abuse or aggression. Understanding the root causes of these behaviors is the first step toward addressing them. Often, they are a form of communication, expressing underlying emotions or unmet needs. Common Causes of Behavioral Issues in Teens:
Open Communication:
Therapy can be a beneficial avenue for teens struggling with behavioral challenges and their families. A therapist can:
If you're facing challenges in parenting your teen and feel like you've tried everything, don't lose hope. I am here to support you through this turbulent time. Reach out to us for compassionate guidance and evidence-based strategies tailored to your family's needs. Contact me today to schedule a session and start the journey to a happier, more harmonious family life.  Divorce can be one of life's most challenging experiences, marked by a rollercoaster of emotions and adjustments. As a dedicated therapist with a focus on marital transitions, I understand the intricacies involved in the journey of divorce. This blog post aims to shed light on the emotional landscape of ending a marriage and provides guidance on navigating this profound change with resilience and hope.
Understanding the Emotional Impact of Divorce: Divorce is more than just a legal dissolution of a marriage; it's a personal upheaval that can affect every aspect of your life. It often involves a grieving process similar to mourning the loss of a loved one. Acknowledging this emotional impact is crucial in finding a path forward. Common Emotional Stages of Divorce:
Allow Yourself to Grieve:
Therapy can be a powerful tool in the divorce recovery process. It can help you:
Are you feeling overwhelmed by the emotions surrounding your divorce? Together, we'll navigate the complexities of this life change and help you move forward with confidence and hope. Contact me today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward healing and renewal.  In a world where consumer culture is prevalent and online shopping is just a click away, shopping addiction, also known as compulsive buying disorder, has emerged as a significant concern. As a therapist, I encounter many individuals struggling to manage their additions. This blog post will delve into the nuances of shopping addiction and offer strategies for overcoming the compulsion to spend excessively.
Understanding Shopping Addiction: Shopping addiction is characterized by an irresistible urge to shop and spend money, often leading to adverse emotional, financial, and social consequences. It's not just about the joy of acquiring new items; it's a coping mechanism for underlying emotional and mental distress. Signs of Shopping Addiction:
Identify Triggers:
For many, overcoming shopping addiction is a challenge that requires professional support. Therapy can provide a non-judgmental space to explore the psychological factors contributing to compulsive shopping. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), in particular, has shown effectiveness in helping individuals change their thought patterns and behaviors related to shopping addiction. Group therapy or support groups can also offer a community of individuals facing similar challenges, providing a support network to share experiences and coping strategies. Shopping addiction is complex and often masks deeper issues. Recognizing the problem is a courageous first step towards recovery. With the right strategies and professional guidance, it is possible to regain control over your shopping habits and lead a more balanced life. If you find yourself struggling with compulsive shopping, you are not alone. Contact me today to start your journey towards recovery. Together, we can develop a personalized plan to help you overcome shopping addiction and find healthier ways to cope with life's challenges. Remember, change is possible, and I am here to support you every step of the way.  Losing a spouse is one of the most heart-wrenching experiences one can endure. The thought of finding love again might seem distant or even impossible. However, the human heart has an immense capacity for healing and rediscovering love. As a therapist specializing in grief and relationship counseling, I've guided many through the delicate steps of opening up to love after loss. This post is a gentle exploration of the journey towards finding love again, affirming that hope and companionship can indeed find a place in your life post bereavement.
The Process of Grieving: Grieving is a personal and non-linear process. It's essential to give yourself grace and time to mourn the loss of your spouse fully. There's no 'right' way to grieve, and there's no timeline to adhere to. Honor your journey and recognize that healing occurs in layers and at its own pace. Embracing the Possibility of Love: When you've shared a deep love, the thought of finding a similar connection again might feel like a betrayal or dishonor to your late spouse's memory. However, embracing love again is not about replacing the irreplaceable; it's about allowing your heart to expand. It's a testament to the love you've experienced and the love you still have to offer. Steps Toward New Relationships: Acknowledge Your Feelings:
Finding love after the death of a spouse is a journey marked with tenderness and strength. It's about giving yourself permission to live, enjoy, and love again while honoring the memory of your late partner. Love can take many forms, and when the time is right, it can enter your life in ways you may not have anticipated. If you're considering the journey towards new love and need support, I’m here to help. Contact me today to discuss how therapy can assist you in navigating this new chapter with compassion and hope. Remember, your heart is capable of immense love, and it's never too late to discover its depths.  Parenting is a voyage of love and learning, and when it involves a child with special needs, this journey takes on an added dimension of care, advocacy, and strength. As a therapist with expertise in supporting families with special needs children, I recognize the unique challenges and triumphs you may encounter. This blog post is dedicated to the incredible parents navigating this special parenting path, offering insights and support to help you and your child thrive.
Understanding the Landscape: Parenting a child with special needs encompasses a spectrum of conditions, including developmental delays, medical challenges, and learning disabilities, each with its own set of intricacies. Acknowledging and understanding your child's unique needs is the first step in this lifelong adventure. The Impact on Families: Having a child with special needs can affect family dynamics, personal relationships, and emotional well-being. It's natural to experience a range of emotions, from denial and frustration to acceptance and pride. Embracing these feelings is part of the process of becoming the advocate your child needs. Strategies for Thriving as a Parent: Educate Yourself:
Parenting a child with special needs is a path marked by challenges, but it is also a path illuminated by profound joy and growth. It is a unique experience that can deepen your capacity for love, patience, and resilience. Remember, you're not alone on this journey. There are resources, communities, and professionals ready to support you every step of the way. If you're looking for support as you navigate the joys and challenges of parenting a special needs child, I’m here to help. Contact me today to learn how therapy can empower your family as you embrace this remarkable journey together.  Infidelity is a profound breach of trust that can deeply wound the partners in a committed relationship. It is a tumultuous experience that brings a myriad of emotions, challenges, and decisions. As a therapist specializing in relationship counseling, I understand the intricate layers of pain and confusion that infidelity introduces into a partnership. This blog post aims to explore the impact of infidelity on relationships and provide guidance on the healing process for both individuals and couples.
Understanding Infidelity: Infidelity goes beyond a mere physical act; it is an emotional turbulence that can shake the very foundation of a relationship. It's essential to understand that infidelity can manifest in various forms, from physical affairs to emotional connections and online interactions. Each type carries its unique hurt and betrayal, requiring a tailored approach to healing. The Impact of Infidelity: The revelation of an affair can lead to a roller coaster of emotions, including shock, anger, sadness, and even numbness. These feelings are valid and expected. Infidelity can also lead to a decrease in self-esteem and an increase in anxiety or depression. It's crucial to address these emotions head-on, as they are part of the natural healing process. Acknowledge Your Feelings:
If infidelity has impacted your relationship and you're seeking support, please contact me today to schedule a consultation. Let's work together to find a path that leads to healing and renewed hope.  Dealing with mom rage can feel difficult, but you can find ways to calm down. When you learn what exactly is triggering you or getting under your skin, you’ll be able to recover. Coping with mom rage starts with recognizing your frustrations and making the effort to take a deep breath, walk away, and de-escalate the situation.
What Is Mom Rage? Mom rage, also known as maternal rage or maternal anger, describes a mother’s experience of overwhelming fits of anger that may arise in an instant and interrupt normal daily life. Motherhood is often idealized as an idyllic state in which moms are able to succeed in being infinitely patient with their children and always kind and loving to their families. Trying to live up to unrealistic expectations can contribute to bouts of motherhood rage. Mom rage can leave a woman feeling that she is losing control as her anger rises up and she lashes out. Maternal anger issues may be exacerbated by both external circumstances and by a mom’s internal state. Motherhood rage can be frightening for a mom, as the anger associated with it can be extremely intense and leave her with feelings of guilt after an episode passes. Who Experiences Mom Rage? Any parent can experience bouts of mom rage or parental rage. Even moms who are typically low key or easy going may find themselves experiencing feelings of rage in tense situations with their children. While mom rage is a relatively new term, it is not a new phenomenon. Women have been historically encouraged to deny, or at least refrain from expressing, feelings of anger, so when a parent experiences explosive anger, it can take them off guard. However, recognizing that mom rage is relatively normal can be helpful—as can learning ways to manage it. Mom Rage Vs. Normal Anger Mom rage differs from “normal” types of anger in that it feels as if the anger has severely crossed a line. The onset and explosion of anger feels uncontrollable. Carolyn Wagner, therapist and founder of The Calm Mama Method, describes it as “Anger that is so intense it feels like it shouldn’t even be called just ‘anger.’ The kind that sneaks up on you and before you know it, you are exploding.” How Does Mom Rage Feel? Mom rage can feel scary due to its unexpected arrival and the intensity with which it is felt. Mom rage symptoms include feeling overcome with anger or frustration, lashing out verbally or physically, feeling out of control of your emotions, and experiencing a sense of being about to snap. This experience usually reflects the feelings of a frustrated mother who has reached her limit of patience or control. Anger Outbursts The most significant marker of maternal rage is unpredictable anger outbursts. A mom may suddenly lose her cool and express her anger outwardly. Some mothers will yell at their kids, or physically lash out by slamming cabinets, throwing toys, or hitting pillows. In some cases, maternal frustration may lead a mother to spank or swat her child or physically put the child in their crib, room, or timeout. The outburst may seemingly come from nowhere, but it reflects the feelings of overwhelm or anger that is just under the surface. Moms may expend effort trying to live up to their own expectations regarding motherhood, but mom rage can erupt in an anger outburst that is totally uncharacteristic of that mom. Constantly Feeling Triggered When a mother is “on duty,” it’s a full-time job and the feeling that you are fully responsible for another’s welfare can be overwhelming. When a mom is carrying this level of responsibility, little annoyances can seem like major obstacles. In fact, mom rage outbursts can be triggered by the smallest of things, but still take a mom’s anger from 0 to 60 in an instant. Any little thing can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. A crying baby, a mess made by a toddler, a child that can’t find their homework, or a car that needs to be gassed up are examples of triggers that may evoke a bout of mom rage. Few of the triggers can even be prevented, which makes the feeling of constantly being triggered so strong. Guilt & Shame Anger outbursts can be surprising to normally calm and collected mothers, but the very nature of mom rage leads women to feel guilt and shame after an outburst. Cultural depictions of mothers suggest that they are always there to comfort their children and provide a safe space when their child is suffering. When a mother’s frustration levels trigger an anger outburst, her feelings of guilt over failing others can be significant. Mothers may also feel shame if others have witnessed their outbursts, including shame if their children were present. Guilt is an inward emotion that is felt when we feel we have let ourselves down. Shame is more outwardly focused and it reflects the feeling that we have let others down. Mom rage packs a double punch in that mothers experience both. Where Does Mom Rage Come From? There are a variety of factors that contribute to mom rage, including unpaid emotional labor, financial strain, body image, stressors related to becoming or being a mom, and more. Mom rage symptoms can also stem from postpartum hormonal changes (i.e., postpartum rage). Learning how to stop being an angry mom starts by identifying what is causing you to feel overwhelmed. Possible causes of mom rage symptoms include:Feeling Overwhelmed Mothers are looking after not only their own needs, but their children’s as well. Being responsible for a family can be overwhelming. Children’s behavior can be unpredictable, routines may be derailed by external events, and life doesn’t always go as planned. If a mother feels that it’s her job to overcome all of these unexpected challenges, she may easily feel frustrated by the lack of control she has and overwhelmed by her perceived responsibilities. Lack of Support Caretaking of children is a huge task and when a mother doesn’t feel supported in her tasks, resentment at her partner or other family members may grow. Some mothers may feel that they do not have the right to ask for assistance as they don’t want to burden others or they may feel too proud to ask for help because they have been taught that mothers should be able to handle it all themselves. Without a sense of support, mothers may experience deep frustrations and overwhelm which can generate bouts of mom rage. Grief & Loss While motherhood is idealized as the beginning of a beautiful new chapter in life, mothers may also be deeply grieving the lives they are leaving behind. If a woman has built a career that fulfilled her and provided a strong sense of identity, she may grieve that part of her identity as she moves into the role of mother. Losses in social support networks may occur, as well. Identities shift and needs change, but when a mother feels that she has lost parts of herself that she may not ever reclaim, she may experience frustration and anger at the new claims on her time. Recognizing that motherhood brings joy as well as grief can allow a mother to begin to come to terms with the losses. Gender-Related Inequalities In households where there is a stark gender-based division of labor, mothers must carry the lion’s share of childcare responsibilities, which can be much more overwhelming than a full-time job outside the home might be. By having to always be the “hands on” parent, mothers may grow resentful of the easier time that their partners have with the children. A mother who feels that they are dedicating more time and energy towards what should be a mutual task, may experience frustration with their partner, but express it through an outburst of maternal rage. Mental Health Conditions Mom rage is often recognized as a symptom of postpartum depression and anxiety, but it can extend beyond the postpartum period. It can also be a symptom of stay-at-home mom depression, due to the role mothers may find themselves in for years with multiple kids. There are other mental health disorders that may be involved in mom rage. Postpartum psychosis is a severe disorder that alters a mother’s sense of reality. Behavioral changes, such as unpredictable attacks of rage, are a symptom that is shared with the more common mom rage. Another disorder that should be ruled out is intermittent explosive disorder (IED). This disorder shares some of the same symptoms of mom rage, including feelings of rage, irritability, and tension. When significant behavioral changes or concerning thoughts, such as the desire to harm self or others (including one’s children) appear, it is important to assess for a more serious condition. Life Stressors While life stressors are experienced regardless of the stage of life you are in, motherhood brings new layers of stress due to the consideration that must be given to the needs of the children. For many first-time mothers, the transition to motherhood can be a difficult one to manage, and the stressors that come with it can be more than a mother can easily manage. Help For Parents Parenting is stressful and challenging! Get support. I offer individual, couples, and family counseling services. Therapy can provide tools to assist you with managing your big feelings and will help you feel grounded. Taking care of YOU matters. If you are not allowing yourself time for self-care, you will not have the strength and energy levels to care for others in your life. How Does Mom Rage Affect Children & Partners? Mom rage can lead to unhealthy experiences for children and parents as it can result in feelings of guilt, resentment, anxiety, and depression in those affected. If you asked any parent if they were eager to yell at their child or hurt their child in anger, they would say no. When we ignore mom rage, it disrupts the bond between mother and child. The ability to trust and rely on one another begins to diminish. The entire family system can be affected by a parent with explosive anger. Partners are often unsure of how to support or comfort, so they may also be wary of comforting their child over their partner when both are upset. Impacts on Children Being around someone who is acting out their frustration or rage can be scary no matter what your age. However, children may be especially sensitive to a mom’s anger. Some children may ask themselves questions like, “Why is my mom always mad at me?” or “Am I a bad child because my mom yells at me for the littlest things?” This may compromise their sense of self-worth and this may lead to poor social skills and even compromised physical well-being. Growing up with an angry mother can be challenging for children, and some might model their own adult behavior after their mothers. Other children may grow up highly conflict avoidant and fearful of disagreements with others. Children often blame themselves for their parents’ moods, so it can be important for a mom to affirm to her child that they haven’t done anything wrong as soon after an outburst as she can. Children are adaptable, but they need the support of their parents and affirmations of their value and their worthiness of love. Impacts on Romantic Relationships Unfortunately, mom rage can negatively affect romantic relationships, too. Anger is an emotion that leads to disconnection due to the negative emotions that anger can generate within the person experiencing it and those around her. When maternal rage is expressed, it can include denigration of a partner’s contributions to childrearing or blaming a partner for the rage that is felt. Although the rage outburst may be brief, words may be used that cause significant pain for a partner. Partners should be open in their communications about maternal rage and avoid pretending that an outburst didn’t happen. It’s important for moms to help their partners understand the unpredictable nature of the rage and also to discuss ways that they can work together to address identifiable triggers that could possibly be prevented. Communication about even difficult topics like mom rage is essential to enduring relationships. 12 Tips For Dealing With Mom Rage The unexpected nature of mom rage may lead mothers to ask themselves, “Why am I such an angry mom?” It’s important to recognize that it’s a common phenomenon and that there are effective ways to cope with these feelings of intense frustration and rage.1 Acknowledging that you need help to deal with your mom rage is the first step to regaining a sense of control. Below are 12 tips if you’re dealing with mom rage: 1. Pause & Take a Deep Breath It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and become overwhelmed with rage and frustration. Before you can move onto doing or focusing on anything else, take a moment to just breathe. Give it a try right now. Even if you’re calm, get used to taking deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. 2. Take a Break & Walk Away This can be literally or figuratively. There are some situations where walking away isn’t an option. But if you can, take a moment to give yourself (and your child) some space and come back later when you’re a bit more level headed. It may even be helpful to announce and suggest this to those around you. Say something like, “I’m getting really frustrated right now. How about we give this conversation a break?” Keep in mind that your children need to see you model healthy coping skills, and this also shows them that it is okay to walk away when needed. 3. Remember, You Don’t Have to Be Right The parent-child relationship is complicated. There are many schools of thought on how your relationship with your child should be. At the end of the day, you don’t always have to be right. Focusing on trying to prove your point or convince the other party to see things your way can overshadow the message entirely. 4. List the Things That Are In & Out of Your Control Make a side-by-side list. Write down the things that you can and cannot control. For example, consider your breath, your tone, and your body language versus your child’s feelings or opinion, or timing of the event. When you’re able to take a step back and focus on the things that are in your control, you can start to put your energy into those to improve the situation. 5. Start & End Your Day With Time For Yourself Taking even a few minutes in the morning and evening for yourself can make a difference, especially if your rage stems from burnout. Think of it like you’re creating “bookends” of self-care. This can be as simple as taking a deep breath or making a list of five things you’re grateful for. If you have more time, engage in meditation for anger or stretching. Anything that gives you time to yourself without interruption will help you feel grounded and able to manage your big feelings. It doesn’t have to be the very first and last thing that you do, but it’s the conscious effort to take care of yourself that matters. Ask For Help Asking for help is one of the biggest pain points for many people, but it’s an incredibly important part of being human. There is a pre-existing belief that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Think about things that you can start taking off your plate. This might be household or childcare responsibilities or asking for some quiet time to yourself. It takes practice from both parties, you (the one asking for help) and the helper. You have to be open to letting go of control while also building your trust in others to rely on them. It becomes easier and more rewarding when you’re able to get support from others. This help may come from immediate family, a laundry service, grocery delivery, or even a house cleaner. Regardless, it’s important to understand your limits. Contact me to set up a time to get your life back.  Just like stop signs and red lights on the road, red flags are a sign to pump the brakes and assess the situation at hand. They can pop up in any kind of relationship, whether it's relatively new, strictly casual, or something more long-term.
The tricky part: When you're swept up in love or lust, red flags can be easy to miss — or even ignore. While there are some common red flags (think: jealousy, clinginess, and mismatched relationship goals), others may vary from person to person. But at what point is a red flag a deal-breaker? A deal-breaker is something that will immediately cause the relationship to end (for example, one partner wants to have children and the other doesn't), whereas red flags can sometimes — key word: sometimes — be resolved through communication. The longer you let a red flag go on without discussing it with your partner, the more attached the other person might become. Even more important, the harder it might be to address your concerns to them in the future. What Exactly is a Relationship Red Flag? A red flag is a behavior trait or value that shows you the future incompatibility with a person. This can be anything from someone having a history of infidelity to conflicting lifestyles and beyond. A red flag can also be a sign that the person you are involved with can't have a healthy relationship with you. If you were to pursue this relationship, it could be potentially psychologically, emotionally, and physically dangerous. A red flag is basically a reason to either stop the relationship altogether or back away a little bit because it's a clue or a hint of an underlying issue. Although most red flags can be easy to spot, people don’t always address them when they first appear — or even at all. And as soon as you have feelings, it’s really hard to turn away from a red flag, even though you’re like ‘I knew all along.’ But if red flags aren't addressed, they can become even more problematic since they don't go away on their own. It's an opportunity for you to assess the situation and see if it's a dealbreaker or if it's something that can be worked through. Either way, you have a choice to make. What to Do When You Notice a Red Flag Communicate, communicate, communicate. Communication is a big part of it, talking it out and even seeking professional help. Getting outside help is important. In terms of social support, connect with friends and family to get their thoughts on your current situation. The important thing is to really listen to them and not defend the person you are seeing. The people around you are able to see things you may not see. Or you may see the same things, but choose to blind yourself from the red flags. Relationship Red Flags to Look Out For Inconsistent Behavior One example is a partner that will text a lot and then go silent for a few days. That's inconsistent. If someone is interested in you and invested, they're going to show consistent behavior. The same goes for emotions, whether it's being very hot and cold or being very available or not available. Verbal or Physical Abuse Any form of violence or dangerous behavior is an immediate red flag. They can't channel their emotions properly in a healthy way. Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but if things escalate to any form of abuse — verbal, physical, mental, and/or emotional —it's important to remove yourself immediately. Mismatched Relationship Goals Many people believe their partner will change their goals in the future — but that's not always the case. People show you who they are — and what they want — pretty early on. If they say they want something casual at the very start, they usually mean that. Excessive Jealousy Trust is at the heart of any healthy relationship. So, if your partner showcases extreme jealousy, it might be a sign that they don't trust you. Aside from that, jealousy can also stem from your partner's own insecurities, which might make you feel bad about yourself as well. On some occasions, extreme jealousy could also be a sign of their own infidelity; there will project it onto you. If there are any trust issues, you have to decide if that's something that you want to manage in your relationship. History of Infidelity If a person has a history of cheating on someone else or on you, you may spend most of your time in the relationship worrying that it'll happen to you (possibly, again). Infidelity can also take a toll on your mental health and self-confidence, causing you to think you're not good enough for your partner. Different Life Goals It’s important to find someone that shares similar goals to yours, especially if you're pursuing a long-term relationship. While, in many ways, it's a good thing if your partner challenges you, having conflicting life goals might leave you unhappy in the long run. Watch out for misaligned goals like marriage or where you want to live or whether you want to have children or financial differences. Substance Abuse If you have a partner who regularly uses substances in excess, then they may have an addiction. But while substance abuse can be a red flag, there are always situations where you can work through substance abuse issues. If your partner is willing to self-correct or get themselves into treatment, then there may be hope, but it’s on a case-by-case basis. It’s up to you to decide if it’s something you should stick around for, or if it’s something that wouldn’t be healthy for you in the long run. No Effect to Know Your Family and Friends Their distance from your loved ones might be an indicator that they don't value their own family or friends — both in the present moment and in the future. People who don't have any friends can become very clingy and co-dependent people to the person they are dating. The Relationship Moves Too Fast Sometimes, this may be mistaken for something positive, but you should question it if the other person is accelerating the relationship. It's possible that they don't have bad intentions, but it could also be a manipulation tactic, aka “love bombing.” These situations tend to turn abusive and toxic. They're using that quickness and intensity to get you on board and gain your trust. They may act and say that they love you more than anyone else they have ever met. They will be charming and you may feel swept off your feet, but once you’re married, another side will start to show. A toxic side. Controlling Behavior A controlling partner doesn't trust you or the decisions you make. Be aware if your partner starts to limit your social interactions, setting restrictions on who you're allowed to see and when. Keeping you away from your friends and loved ones can be a safety concern and a blatant form of manipulation. Being Secretive Honesty and trust are the hallmarks of any healthy relationship. That said, if your partner keeps secrets from you or often beats around the bush, it may be a sign that they don't trust you enough to share what's really going on. Or, they may have dark secrets that you should know about, but they keep hidden. While some lies might not come off as too big of a deal, you should be wary if you feel like your partner frequently lies to you or doesn’t tell you the full story. Gaslighting Healthy conflict is one thing, twisting the truth is another. Gaslighting can be used by your partner to make you feel bad about yourself and hinder your self-esteem. If they’re doing things that make you feel insecure, that’s usually a red flag. If you notice your partner gaslighting you, address them and seek help. When you do not take heed to red flags, it can be disastrous. It’s important to take care of your full self physically, mentally, and emotionally. Both couples counseling and individual counseling can help you learn the tools you need to get through hard times. |
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March 2024
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